Children

Just today on the phone I was discussing with Rachel the "funny" things that people say to me when they see I have twins. I told her that I could write a rant about it. She told me to. I said no. Then someone showed me a wonderful talk AND now I am going to write a blog about the silly things people say to me and more. I will quote parts of the talk and this will balance my rant and allow me to express why the things people say to me really bother me.

Where to start? Essentially every time I go out with the girls I will get at least one negative comment. I swear this isn’t an exaggeration. (I remember  years ago my sisters saying they got negative comments and I thought WHAT is the big deal… now I get it… it is offensive to the very core of who you are).

This week at Superstore the cashier said oh wow twins, how is it going? I said it is great! She questioned me saying REALLY? I said YES (I must admit I was a little rude in my tone…) SHE then proceeded to tell ME why it would be so hard. I told her well they are your kids and you love them so it doesn’t really matter. She wished me good luck with skepticism in her tone as I left the store!

At Costco people saw me walking with Abigail in a baby bjorn and Isabelle in the cart in her car seat and made comments like oh make room for her she deserves a break or not to be stopped by others in the isle… actually my life isn’t THAT bad… in fact it isn’t even bad: it is great.

At Thrifty Foods today I was asked if I was crazy. I said no! (I must admit I wasn’t as kind as I could have been, but really who starts a conversation by asking a complete stranger if they are crazy and expects it to go well?) SHE THEN asks me if they are twins!! WHAT are you kidding me do they look at MINIMUM 9 months apart?!!!! (You would actually be surprised a LOT of people ask that… I just laugh in my head because I don’t get it.)

At Walmart today someone asked me if they were identical. I told them kindly no. Although I can tell them apart very easily I know that people are in shock that there are TWO babies and don’t really look at features! That one is okay. But today at Walmart the reasoning behind this woman agreeing that perhaps they weren’t identical was because they were different sizes!! Hehehehe

Something else people always say is oh your hands must be full. This bothers me because I don’t want people viewing my life as hard because I have children. I feel looked down upon. I thought it was because I had twins and I wanted to say doesn’t any mom who has two kids have her hands full? Then I discovered I think a lot of Moms get the comment oh your hands must be full.

Something else that bothers me is when people tell me that they wouldn’t want twins. Chris doesn’t understand why this bothers me so perhaps I am just sensitive BUT it makes me feel negatively judged. I know they are not trying to hurt my feelings BUT it does. I think it does because I feel looked down upon… but really the people are talking about how THEY wouldn’t want it. It has nothing to do with me? I don’t know???

The reason I am writing this blog about my pet peeves is because when I read this talk tonight I got over it (as much as one can in 15 minutes... but I gained perspective). I was reminded of what really matters. I will forgive people for their insensitive comments and continue to be a cheerful happy mother of twins!

The talk is from Elder Neil L. Andersen (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints titled Children).

Last April, President Thomas S. Monson declared:

“Where once the standards of the Church and the standards of society were mostly compatible, now there is a wide chasm between us, and it’s growing ever wider. …

“The Savior of mankind described Himself as being in the world but not of the world. We also can be in the world but not of the world as we reject false concepts and false teachings and remain true to that which God has commanded.”⁶

Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”⁷

As the world increasingly asks, “Are these all yours?” we thank you for creating within the Church a sanctuary for families, where we honor and help mothers with children.
It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children.
The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father’s plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture reads, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”² In our day prophets and apostles have declared, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”³     [Laura’s side note: for anyone who may not be aware Mormons are not opposed to birth control we just do believe in having families]

This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.⁴ We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions—decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.

End of quotations.



I guess what it really comes down to is that instead of being offended I should be grateful that I know what it is that I believe and I know what I want and have been blessed to have children and fulfill the measure of my creation as a woman. It has become my personal goal (right now) to not take offense but to remember to be grateful that I know who I am, why I am here and where I am going. My beliefs make me different from society but how much good is coming from society today anyways?