Maternity Shots

So people have been asking for me to post photos of what I look like these days. Despite my best efforts to snap a good picture of myself from our bathroom mirror I have been unsuccessful. Chris doesn’t take that great of photos of me.
Today my friend called me up and said “It is sunny want to take pictures?” I had planned to go and pick up a rocking chair and two baby bjorns (infant carriers) and told her I couldn’t for a few hours… a few minutes later I called her back and said "actually I won’t go and get the baby bjorns I will be at your house soon!"
I probably should have taken photos a month ago when I looked a whole lot better… BUT considering that I am over 29 weeks along with twins I guess I look good! I actually had a lot of fun taking photos! Thanks Ali!!

Throughout this pregnancy I have had lots of emotions running through my mind. I have had all the typical pregnancy thoughts- Can I actually do this? What was I thinking? Will it all REALLY be okay? I am going to be the one going through labor not the person I “helped” deliver their baby. Will I be a good mom? I have been fairly vocal about what I think a mother should be and have high standards of what it means to be a mom, over the last 6 years I have developed a strong sense of who I am and the kind of mother I want to be… in THEORY and now comes the time when I get to put it to use…the thoughts of questioning if I could actually do it of course crept into my mind. I began to have very tender thoughts that of course I could do it, I seem to be naturally inclined with infants and really thoroughly enjoy their warm presence on my body.

About a month ago now, I was driving home from work in Port Alberni and I had the most wonderful thoughts about becoming a mother. I realized that I have had the best example of what it means to be a mother from my own mom. She has taught me through example how to be endlessly selfless, to see the positive and to give her all to her children. I have often wished that I could be more like her, and knew the time would come when I had my own children that I would be able to develop such a fine quality. I also realized that I have a wealth of knowledge accessible to me from my sisters and sister in laws who combined have brought 12 children into the world. I also remembered that I am a NURSE, I have trained for four years and obtained a degree that has taught me how to care for people physically, emotionally and mentally. Throughout my training I learned how to take care of newborn babies, saw someone give birth, and worked in a pediatric ward! Through my callings in the church I have learned how to teach others, how important the gospel really is to me and how to nurture people in the gospel. I know that I won’t do everything right the first time but I remembered that I am a fast learner, I am organized and I am not a quitter. I couldn’t be happier to become a mother.

The last few weeks I have watched my body grow to sizes I didn’t know possible. I have struggled with feeling the lack of comfort pregnancy can bring. I have also started thinking about post-pregnancy body and have struggled with the loss of my old body… which I didn’t even realize I liked before! This past Sunday I watched a mother with five of her six children surrounding her on a church bench in sacrament meeting, as I watched her I thought to myself, there is nothing I wouldn’t give up to have so many children around me that I can nurture and love. Yes I will have to work out to look good again, something I have never been good at, but I will do it so that I might have joy in rearing children.

I can’t believe our little girls will be here in 5-8 weeks. We are so excited! We talk about it almost every night, and we pray for them morning and night. We love them dearly. The best gift we can give them will be the love and respect that we (Chris and I) have for each other. That will be our endeavor as we raise our family.

Another thing that brings me great comfort in becoming a mother is that I know I have a great husband! I don’t do public shout outs of affection often, in fact I never have, but it truly is something else that adds to the comfort and peace-  knowing that you have a best friend to do the duty with who is as devoted to it as you are.