Olivia Jane Gow

It only seems right to start with the biggest part of the last 8 months of our life... and perhaps the main reason I haven't been blogging...

Olivia Jane Gow

Labor story- I suppose it is graphic(ish) near the end- you are WARNED!
I started having "false" labor about a week before she was born every night from about 1-5am. By about day three of this I was starting to get quite exhausted and annoyed. Chris had finished up work on a Friday and had the next two days off. He was really hoping that he wouldn't have to go back to work Monday for the next two weeks. I told him not to expect anything in my frustrated state.
Saturday night I had given up hope that this "false" labor would ever turn into the real deal. I think I even said something whiney before we fell asleep that night.
Well as luck would have it I woke up a few hours later. I was pretty sure it was the real deal. I monitored myself for 3 hours with a stop watch for the first time and they were getting harder and longer and were regular. I decided it was time to call the midwife.
We met her at the hospital at 6 (I think), but on the way to the hospital I felt like maybe things were changing again. She checked me out. Sent back home. I was SO bummed. I was hungry and sad so I demanded we stop at Tim Horton's on the way home...I ate a lot.
Climbed into bed when we got home. Fell asleep (clearly things were slowing down... again). Woke up. Went for a walk. Stayed in bed watching movies all morning. As luck would have it by 12 I called the midwife again and they checked me at home. Bingo bango ready to go to the hospital.
As I started to get ready, I broke out in HIVES. Are you kidding me? I made Chris speed to the hospital as I felt like I was going to lose it. Itchy and in labor is hell (sorry no other word). My head was feeling spacey all of a sudden. My throat was itchy. I feared my life (secretly... not so secret any more).
We get to the hospital I say I want an epidural. It is 1pm and I am 4cm.
They give me Benadryl.
I calm.
I am informed there aren't even enough beds for all women who are laboring. Because I have a midwife there is no nurse available for me therefore an epidural is very unlikely. LAME.
Chris reminds me that I wanted to try the tub. So I get in the tub. 6cm. Have maybe two contractions and casually mention that I am feeling pressure. They calmly tell me I should get out of the tub.
Hard labor... starting to lose it... thinking oh I must be in transition... check again...6cm. I can't even describe the level of my disappointment. Think of a way out of this situation I am in. There is none. I am hooped.
They inform me that they should break my water as this will help but will also make the contractions stronger. I really didn't want to do it, but I did anyways. Still 6cm. 4:20pm.
The break the water, meconium is in it. I am super worried about having to have a C-section. I keep asking if babe is ok.
Then I kind of go into my own world.
They're strapping monitors on babe. Her heart rate is low. Having a hard time finding it. OBGYN is brought in the room. Again still in my own world of... you know what.
They start telling me to hold my legs and I wanted to tell them to bugger off. So I didn't listen. Then the doctor got in my face and said hold your legs you can push. Still confused because I didn't have to hold my own legs with the girls and I really didn't want to.
Her shoulders got stuck apparently but I only remember pushing 3 times. 4:39pm I hear my (our) crying baby girl.
I think I asked like 4-5 times if she was here. I think I was in shock. I was extremely weak not having eaten since that early morning Tim Horton's stop. I was so thirsty. I just remember asking repeatedly if she was ok. She was.
True to form of a not first time parent... we pulled out our camera to take pictures of the first moments and... the battery was dead. I-pad to the rescue.

Much to my displeasure we were kicked out of the hospital the next day by like 11am.

Olivia ate for like an hour after she was born and then slept through the night. I (unlike last time) was wide awake. Gazing wide eyed at this new little babe.

She was so adorable. She reminded me of me so much (and still does). Despite the hectic delivery she is a very content and peaceful baby. She is happy. Smiling all the time. Talking to anyone who will listen. She loves to watch her sisters. I love seeing her by the Christmas tree. I love having a small baby at Christmas. As I hold her and sing Christmas songs there is a special burning in my heart.

Just this week she has started sleeping through the night, much to my delight and surprise. (I will get into this on my next post... soon I hope) Don't hate.

Transitioning to three has been fairly easy for me. I am ever so glad Chris had two weeks off after and that my mom spent time with me on and off for the next two. We've had some hairy moments but all in all I am very much enjoying it. I guess the transition has been made much easier due to the fact that I have always been outnumbered.

Olivia was named by her Uncle David. We are so pleased we asked for his input. It feels like a real way to honor him. Although we didn't decide immediately we would go for his suggestion we are so glad we did. Chris asked him one day near the end of his life, I thought he wouldn't remember he asked, but the next day David told Chris what he had thought of.

When Olivia was 10 days old we took her to get photos. I am so glad we did even though I was BEYOND exhausted afterward.

2 x 2 = ?

My babies turned two just about two weeks ago. Where, may I ask, has the time gone?

Last year at birthday time- we had the flu and we were at my parents house. Not sure the circumstances that lead us there but that is where we were sickness and all. The birthday although I loved it didn't seem to carry a lot of weight on my emotions. Completely different story this time! I thought about their birthday ever since I knew I was pregnant because I wanted to be able to tell people they were 2 so they wouldn't stare at me like I was crazy for being pregnant (not that I think it will matter now... and not many people in public seem to notice I am pregnant and to this date (23weeks) I haven't received a rude comment from a stranger... knock on wood). I started planning what I wanted to have happen for their birthday in March... like the beginning.

For the weeks proceeding their birthdays I thought about them and motherhood a lot. I wept on several occasions. I laughed more with them than I had their entire lives (only because they are actually funny now). I lived in the moment and felt overwhelming joy and love on several occasions.

The things they are doing that put a smile on my face are:

playing with blocks- building towers they always say

playing with shapes- putting them in the right holes and clapping and yelling YAY

saying "be back" and pretending they are going to Grandmas and Grandpas

the way they say candy -- "camy"

Abigail loves the t.v., dancing, copying my rules of "no ________!" and bossing her sister around, she loves to gather toys and bring them everywhere with her, she loves to read

Isabelle loves to get reactions from being disobedient, she loves to follow me around and pretends to put on make up, perfume and deodorant, she loves to be told she is pretty, she loves to climb, she loves to walk the bench of the picnic table and jump off the end.

they love to run outside

they know when we are close to Chris's work and they will say "Daddy's working" and "bye tartar (target)" and "no work Daddy"

they love to play in their beds- getting under the fitted sheets- they just laugh and laugh

they love to dance- especially in the car to Chris's music

they love to try new words

they love to be together and say "Abby come"

they love to tell on each other


The night of their birthday I was so sad. I pulled out my journal and wrote... the first time in... well too long. When they turned one I was very apprehensive about the year that would follow. I knew it was going to be harder in many ways (and it TOTALLY WAS) than the first year of their lives. I knew I was going to have to be tough and tired and that I was going to have to learn a lot. This year as I held them on their birthday my mind is filled with eager anticipation for what the year ahead will bring. They are talking up a storm and understanding so much more in depth. They will continue to become more independent and need me less. They won't always want my hugs, kisses and cuddles. They will start to do things just to be mischievous. It dawned on me this birthday that they are in fact growing up.

Motherhood is hard. For everyone it is hard in a different way. For ME it has been about changing my perfectionist personality, my planned personality, my in control personality, my selfish personality... and I am sure there are more. But these personality traits I have CAN make (they don't always make) the day to day of motherhood hard for me and even un happy. I like an orderly house- toys everywhere drive me nuts. I like to be able to do what I want when I want (from peeing to lying down to watching t.v. to accomplishing important adult tasks like taking out the garbage, paying bills, TALKING on the PHONE). I like to take a shower ALONE. I like to exercise- go for walks. I like to have a perfect dinner to sit down to- you know presented nicely and everything. Sometimes I just want to be lazy.

The way my journey of motherhood began was with a bang. No one child to get a taste. Two little ones came and I was thrown to the wolves. The first year was about survival. Plans and routines were a must. I knew when they would eat, how much they would eat (bottles that is). When they would sleep. What we would need if we were to go anywhere. Life was planned. It needed to be. I feel like we did more than survive- my personality and natural abilities were an asset the first year. I liked so many things about the first year (although it is a blur)

The second year is when I have had to start changing my nature. It is a hard journey. Sometimes I want to kick and scream when things aren't perfect or going the way I planned or just straight up not the way I wanted. My children can now express what they want and what they DO not want! In some areas we must compromise- in others forget about it- but I am learning to listen, I am learning to be patient, I am learning to be selfless with time, I am learning that some things just do not matter (even though they once did).

Motherhood is an adjustment. I no longer do what I want to do when I want to do it. I no longer stay up late. I no longer sleep in. I no longer get ready by myself. I have showers with two little girls. I blow dry my hair (sometimes) while they play games with me. I put my make up on while they watch me and then I "put" theirs on. I never make food for just myself. It takes me 10 minutes to get to the car- shoes and coats for all takes a while. I no longer punch the time clock, or get biweekly pay checks. When I go to the grocery store I feel like I am feeding an army (yes I am aware I only have 2- 2 year olds). BUT through it all...

I wouldn't change a thing. Yes it is hard. Yes it is demanding emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually. But if I truly want to become a better person, a more selfless person, a kinder person, a more patient person-- all in all a more Christ-like person there is no better way for me to do that. I love motherhood. I love the things I am required to sacrifice and the cause for which I make the sacrifice. Yes it is hard but it is worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                       

ah-MAZE-ing

Today we decided to take advantage of the sunny weather. Chris headed to school right after his physio appointment and had done enough school work to come home by 2pm (essentially un-heard of).
I thought it would be fun to take the girls to McNab's Corn Maze in Cedar. They had hay rides, pumpking picking, animals and of course a corn maze.
My favorite parts:
1. The girls in matching jackets
2. Abigail wanting to hold hands as we walked through the maze, and eventually wanting to be carried because she was tired (that NEVER happens)
3. The SUNSHINE and warmth
4. Isabelle running through the maze leading the way, falling a LOT but always happy
5. Seeing the girls looking and touching all the pumpkins they could get to and helping their dad pick the pumpkin
6. Giving the girls a WHOLE apple and seeing the pure delight on their faces
7. Taking pictures

Enjoy!

 

Driving out to McNabs

 

 

Doesn't she look comfortable?

 

 

Looking at Chickens

 

 

Checking out the pigs

 

 

Loving every moment of it!

 

 

Isabelle was talking to the pigs, it was adorable!

 

 

Isn't it lovely?

 

 

Come on Mom!

 

 

Hurry up!!

 

 

Time to stop for a hug!

Oops too vigourous of a hug!

 



 

Time to keep going!

 

Just trying to snap a decent photo...

 

 

Checking out the pumpkins, she loved it!

 

Picking out the pumpkin with Dad! Isabelle was galavanting!

They look so much like each other to me in this photo!

 

YUM!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Expect More for Less!!

Perhaps our biggest news as a family is that CHRIS GOT A JOB!

As you are aware (probably and hopefully) Chris is in school right now at Vancouver Island University completing his masters degree in Business Administration and International Business. He started last September (19th) and finishes his classes October 12th this coming month. He has gone to school straight and done fantastic.

In August (long story short) he made it to round 3 of interviews for Target Canada. The family all went over to Vancouver and attended the temple and the aquarium and Chris went for his interview on the 10th. (I lost the pictures I am really sad about it)

They paid for our travel and hotel and it was BLISS... for me! Chris was stressed out and the ENTIRE day after the interview (the interview was at 9am) he replayed the interview outloud again and again. I knew he would get it even though some questions were not as strongly answered as others.

At the end of the interview they told him it would take 3-4 weeks to hear back.

On August 12th they called back and told him he had GOT THE JOB as an Executive Team Leader!

We found out we will be staying in Nanaimo with the start date of October 15th. The job will count as Chris's 4 month internship required to finish the degree. Training will be 6 months and the store opens in April 2013. We are very excited and hope that this job will lead to other great opportunities in the future!!

Thanks Target Canada!

I MADE IT!

  (I don't have the patience to look for spelling errors right now, this is raw unedited Laura Gow)

August was a very busy month and full of exciting things, which I will get to blogging soon, but the thing I think that is exciting me the most happened in this last week (back in our little home)...

The girls are understanding and communicating!!! The communicating happened earlier this month, I want some, what is this, what is that, done, Mommy and Daddy have never sounded so good! The communication really helped Abigial as she was having some bad bahavioral problems (tantrums!) and once she started verbally communicating (maybe I was too busy or distracted to notice the communication that she was obviously trying to get to me) the tantrums stopped! 

This week I realized the girls were really starting to understand what I was saying to them. They obviously understood some things before but the comprehension shot WAY up this week!!

I have had chairs on the couches for MONTHS in an effort to SAVE my children from THEMSELVES!! If the chairs were not there they would RUN as fast as they could up to the couch and slam into it and as quickly as they could (before I got to them) and climb up onto the couch. They would also if I let them (or was peeing or something vain like that!) climb onto the hope chest (serving as a "coffee" table between the couches) and destroy everything on there!!

They would also go into the kitchen drawers and pull out all the dish towels and cooking utensils and throw them all over the floor. I realize I could have spent some money and installed catches that wouldn't have allowed them to open the drawers. But we are cheap students who would rather spend their money on other things. (You know somethings you just DO NOT want to spend money on??) I almost fell SEVERAL times from slipping on a towel and stepped on cooking utensils that made me want to cuss (especially when I was trying to stop mischevious behavior or someone purposefully running away from me (diaper changes))!

The girls also LOVE(ed) to throw their food on the floor. You know they see something else that they would rather have, or just decide they don't want what you gave them, OR (my least favorite) just decide IT IS FUN to throw something and laugh!! If I had infinite time and energy maybe this wouldn't bother me? BUT my house is SO small right now that my kitchen IS my living room... my kids EAT IN my living room and if I don't sweep up before AND after they get out of their high chair my entire house will be full of crumbs in a matter of minutes! YUCK!

I hope I have described it in a manner that would make you think, OH MAN that sounds AWFUL! Because let me tell you I hated being at my own house for months!

Well this week everything changed!! My table chairs are now tucked in under the kitchen table! The girls have free reign (even into their bedroom that has been blocked off for months...). They have tried a few times to climb onto the hope chest and WITH OUT FAIL I tell them to stop or they will go to the crib AND THEY STOP! They actually LISTEN!! They start to pull the utensils out of the drawer and I ask them to stop, they will either stop and close the drawer OR continue and I will ask them to put it all away and they walk around finding them all and put them all in and close the drawer and CLAP!

Because of these first two developments I decided that it was time for me to teach the girls not to throw their food. (Now I realize I could have done this a LONG time ago and they would have learned but it wasn't something I was ready to fight with them about). They aren't perfect yet but the progress has been AMAZING! They give me their plates when they are done with it (after the dump the food on the tray) and they hold out their pieces of food and say done (or some variation of it) and I quickly come and take it away (or else they do engage in the throwing that I hate).

Needless to say this week has been an amazing transformation for them and I am LOVING IT! We are learning to put away our toys and put our clothes in the laundry basket as well, so far with great success.

The ONLY reason for this post is to record that I MADE IT... I survived the awful stage in my childrens development of "I can do so much but I have NO sense!"
The girls learning to walk was a HUGE blessing in so many regards but also came with its challenges. Now the challenges are beginning to deminish... and for RIGHT NOW all I can see is the positive!! (please don't bring up the challenges to come I need to soak up the now!!)

Something else amazing that happened this weekend was that the girls sat for a whole 30 minutes to watch television and had a snack! They melted my heart sitting there I just had to snap a bunch of photos!

 

 

Isabelle is pretty happy!

 

Abigail thought it was pretty fun and was looking at Isabelle to see what she thought!

 

She was in Heaven!!

 

Abigail started lying down and so I ran and grabbed a pillow for them each!

My Body is Nobody's Body BUT MINE

My Mom sent me this in a email a while ago... I wanted to post it a while ago... I got busy... Hope it brings a smile to your face and maybe even a happy tear to your eye.

"Perhaps one of the most discouraging struggles women endure is that never-ending battle with our own bodies ........

     A woman's attitude toward her own body is fraught with misconceptions fueled by a world that celebrates an almost prepubescent female body as the ideal norm.  For most of us, time moves on.  We are not seventeen, a number of children have made their way through our birth canals, and gravity is exerting its inexorable pull.  Whenever we  look in the mirror, we are reminded of what we are not.  Satan would have it just that way.....thus we enter into a war with our bodies, hating the very tabernacle our Father has given us.....If Satan can get us to fixate on our bodies, either in vanity or self-loathing, then he has caused us to misunderstand completely the role our bodies play in our salvation.....

     I cannot help but think, as I remember the births of each of my children, that this human body, also can make us most divine--that the peculiar pains of a woman's flesh reach her exquisitely, intimately.  What they teach she cannot know beforehand or even know that she needs to know.  But when the pain subsides or is grown accustomed to, she realizes that some time during the darkest of nights or mundanest of mornings, knowledge has descended like the dews from heaven and enlarged her soul.

   Unfortunately, the experience has also enlarged her hips and thighs.  Stretch marks ornament my breasts and hips like silver ribbons.  My hips are two sizes wider, my feet a size bigger than when I was married--my very bones have expanded in response to my mothering.  Some of the effects are temporary, just for the moments of pregnancy....these pass in their time, but the memory remains.

     In that memory lies the glory of this earthly body: though we may be resurrected in a perfect frame, the lessons taught me by my mother-body will rise with me.  The sacrifice, the pain, the fear and faith of my mothering will sink into my soul and remain with me in the eternities.  My spirit and this woman's body inseparably connected constitute my fullness of joy.  Time writes its messages on all of us.  Our very bodies have become our book of life, "an account of our obedience or disobedience written in our bodies."   To what have we been obedient?  To the purpose for which we were made; to provide a body and a safe haven for the spirits entrusted to our care.  If we mother well, we wear out our lives bringing to pass the lives of others.  Of the physical fruits--our wider hips, our sagging breasts, our flatter feet, and rounder buttocks--we need not be so ashamed."

                   Tessa Meyer Santiago--Womens Conference 1998, Get Thee Behind Me:Thwarting Latter-Day Deceits, pg.208,211,212.

p.s. the title of the post is for you Beth Arbanas

Salt Spring Island

On Sunday August 5th Chris, the girls and I travelled to Victoria to attend Miss Violet June Wight's baby blessing. We had a fantastic day and church followed by lounging in the shade of the Wight's yard while the girls napped after church. Not much after we arrived the topic of GOLFING came up. I witnessed three men quickly making plans to go golfing this week. I piped in, "talk to your wives first in private and then make plans!!"
Chris took the opportunity to talk to me while we were lying under a tree. I agreed that it would be a good thing for him to do. Later that afternoon the topic of golf came up again. Ali was present this time and said they were planning on going to Salt Spring Island on Tuesday... we looked at each other and decided we should all go to Salt Spring and the men could golf while we visted shops, ate lunch and played at a park.
Fast forward to Monday night Chris starts asking me what we need to pack and then starts packing it. At 6:30 this morning I hear him getting up (the alarm isn't set to go off until 7) I instictively ask him what is wrong. He tell me he just can't sleep so he is going to pack up the car etc.
I wake up at 7 and essentially everything is done, including the milk for bottles in the microwave warming up. ALL I had to do this morning was get myself ready!! By the time I was ready the car was packed (included the fridge items that needed to be added to already packed bags), water bottles with ice made, golf clubs and stroller packed, the girls diapers changed, the girls dressed and fed morning bottles.
We closed the door at 7:25 and were on the road to the ferry
This alone made for a fantastic day...

We couldn't decide if it was going to be warm and sunny this morning

When we got to Salt Spring we drove around to get a feel for things. We then dropped off the men to play golf and proceeded to Ganges. We spent the next couple of hours looking in shops and enjoying the warm but not too hot weather. We ate lunch on the pier (Chris and I had fish and chips and it was VERY good). We then had ice cream cones.

While waiting patiently for lunch Abigail had a quick cat nap while Isabelle held her hand!!

Abigail at lunch (how grown up does she look?)

Isabelle at lunch (how grown up does SHE look?)

Coconut Ice Cream cone...

messy but great!! (biggest childsize cone ever...)

Alison and I at the end of the day (don't we look relaxed?!!) I love this photo...

Chris and Dave after lunch and a round of golf

Today I was relaxed ALL DAY and I LOVED IT!!! I didn't even have to get myself to relax once I just was. I was living in the moment!
Today was perfect. People still gawked and made comments that I hate. The girls were amazing... and really 9 out of 10 times they are amazing. Golf took so much less time than expected. Bottom line is this Salt Spring Island is a great place to visit!

Oh and I am celebrating the fact that my hands are less full and I am again carrying my camera with me! Today I took pictures on it for the first time since May. YAY!!!

Ferry Terminal on Salt Spring Island

Two of my favorite things... water and mountains!